Do I have bad juju when it comes to love?

Thursday | June 27, 2024

Love Letters Dating

Do I have bad juju when it comes to love?

I am a 28-year-old gay man who has never been in a committed relationship. I have tried to talk to many people in hopes of sparking something, however it never leads to anything. I’ve tired dating online, in person, and through friends, but have been unsuccessful. It usually goes nowhere or the person just wants sex.

When people find out about my non-existent dating history they are shocked. They lists the reasons; to them, I’m “funny, cute, romantic, and anyone would be lucky” to have me. I feel the same way. But unfortunately that isn’t the reality.

I even saw psychics, maybe paying way more than the average person, doing aura and karma cleanses, thinking that maybe I have some bad juju floating around me. I keep seeing signs that indicate something is coming (Angel numbers), but the good luck never comes.

I am, however, very successful in my career and have a good work-life balance. My question is: is there something I am doing wrong? In my opinion, I am checking all the boxes that need to be checked and have even given up on finding someone to see if it will find me. That was over a year ago.

I enjoy hearing your thoughts and would love to know what you think.

– Bad Juju

I don’t think love finds us when we’re not looking. Not often, at least.

It helps to do the work. After a year off, give yourself permission to go back online to scroll, swipe, and communicate.

I don’t know why you haven’t found a serious relationship, but it might be that you’re looking for commitment right off the bat. Maybe the process can be more about finding good company and having fun. Sometimes, with less pressure, a casual thing turns into something more.

I also wonder whether specific apps might be designed to help people make more substantial connections. I have not used Archer, for instance (I am not the demo; it’s for gay men), but “finding the one” is in its description on the app store.

It feels empty to advise you to be patient, because you have been, and I know you’re frustrated. But these things can take so much time.

Try to enjoy this era as much as possible. It sounds like you have so many wonderful things in your life (job, friends, etc.). I don’t think you’re experiencing bad luck at all.

Also, I’m sure some people will tell you to stop focusing on the stars, cleanses, and numbers. I say: do what feels good, fun, and useful. Just don’t spend a full paycheck on it.

– Meredith

Readers? Thoughts on fate with this timeline? Anything this LW could be doing to meet someone important? Do you use Tarot, horoscopes, aura reads, etc. when dating?

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Featured Comment

There is no external, cosmic force working against you, LW. You are experiencing what most of the dating world experiences, i.e. a lack of success until you suddenly find success. But I agree with Meredith that it’s time for you to get back on those apps and actively date. To be happy, focus less on your ultimate goal of a ‘serious relationship’ and more on enjoying dating itself. You’re meeting new people! Trying new restaurants/activities! Hearing fresh anecdotes! Gathering new stories to laugh about with friends later!

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