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Gimme Gimme Gimme (1999–2001)
James Dreyfus: Tom
Photos
Quotes
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Linda La Hughes : D'you know, I think they must a got a puppy for Christmas, cos I could hear her fella shouting in the background "I'm not havin' that dog back in my house" and then she said "party's off".
[Tom pauses for a moment to absorbs this, and then we see a smirk come across his face]
Tom : You're such a sad bitch!
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Linda : Should have taken in a show. I love a good play.
[Tom looks at her in disbelief]
Tom : You? The last play you went to see was "The Chip 'n' dales"; which, incidentally, is not a play.
Linda : It was in a theatre. It had an interval. I had ice cream.
Tom : The theatre should be exciting.
Linda : I was stuck to my seat.
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Linda La Hughes : No, Tom! Don't go near the windows! Don't go near the windows!
Tom : Why?
Linda La Hughes : Umm... Because Tom, Did you know that 175% of all drive-by shootings happen near French Windows?
Tom : Twiggy preserve us.. One is no longer safe in one's own home... It's like that really scary movie, that really violent one. Damn, what's it called? Chocolate Orange!
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Tom : [on the phone] Oh, hang on, I'll ask my PA...
[pretending to call his PA]
Tom : P.A.! P.A.!
Linda La Hughes : [gives him a look] P. Off!
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Linda La Hughes : Tom, I can't be a lesbian, I mean, look at me, I'm gorgeous!
Tom : Loads of lezzers are gorgeous! Take...
[Thinks for a long time]
Tom : Velma from Scooby Doo.
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Tom : Why are you wearing more makeup than Scritti Politti?
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Tom : Oh, what do you know about love?
Linda La Hughes : I know it's in the dictionary between labia and lust.
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Tom : I'll, erm, be fingering through Richard the Third 'til he comes.
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Linda La Hughes : I Love smoking, me... Mummy gave me my first ciggy when I was 10, and I've never looked back!
Tom : Well, I've got to say, Linda, this is a surprise.
Linda La Hughes : Tom... You know I smoke.
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Tom : What have you done? You foolish, foolish child!
Linda La Hughes : I've opened our back garden up as a camp site.
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Simon Shepherd : Is that physically possible with a bar of soap?
Tom : Two words, Simon - patience and practice.
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Beverly-Jane : Oh, Beverly-Anne. Can you get the keys for 315 please?
Beverly-Anne : Can-do Beverly-Jane.
Beverly-Jane : Off your face on pills, Sir?
Tom : I am twatted!
Beverly-Jane : Is that a Welsh name, Sir?
Beverly-Anne : 315, Sir!
Tom : Wait, wait, wait. This is not what it looks like! We are brothers and we are only sharing 1 room because it's cheaper than two.
Beverly-Anne : Good night, Sir! And happy shagging. Do you think they're on drugs, Beverly-Jane?
Beverly-Jane : I don't know about them, But I'm buzzing my nut off, Beverly-Anne.
Beverly-Anne : Hmm, me too. Beverly-Jane.
[the two start dancing idiotically]