Arrested Development (2003–2019)
Henry Winkler: Barry Zuckerkorn
Photos
Quotes
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Wayne Jarvis : I have a picture taken by a traffic camera of you escorting your father.
[hands it to Michael]
Barry Zuckerkorn : Are you sure these aren't balls? Because last time, they were balls.
Barry Zuckerkorn : [Barry is handed the picture of Michael and George Sr. in the stair car] I really wish they were balls.
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Michael : Yes, this is Michael Bluth for Barry.
Barry Zuckerkorn : [to his secretary] I'm not here.
Barry's Secretary : Barry's not in right now. Would you like to leave her a message?
Michael : Yeah, tell her she needs to whisper a little softer next time, AND I'm not paying for this phone call.
Barry Zuckerkorn : I am not a girl, you...
Barry's Secretary : [pulls out a tape recorder] Go ahead, call me something. I'm redecorating my kitchen.
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Barry Zuckerkorn : So basically you're about 2,000 shares short of being the majority stock holders. Now unfortunately it's a private stock so you can not just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell
Michael : Are you sure?
Barry Zuckerkorn : That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves'
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Barry Zuckerkorn : It would help if you all showed up, looking like a loving, supportive family.
Lucille : For how long?
Barry Zuckerkorn : Ten minutes tops.
Lucille : See if you can get it down to five.
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Barry Zuckerkorn : Those are the pictures?
Wayne Jarvis : They're all over the news.
Barry Zuckerkorn : [scrutinizes] Those are balls.
Wayne Jarvis : What?
Narrator : Barry was right. Tobias had inadvertently photographed himself in the bathtub while trying to figure out his new cell phone.
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Lindsay Funke : Barry, did you talk to a doctor?
Barry Zuckerkorn : I did. I have poison oak. Do you believe it? How the hell did I get that?
[Cut to a shot of a rest area]
Lucille Bluth : She was talking about George.
Barry Zuckerkorn : Oh, he's the same. Look, I guess we should decide on who's going to speak for the family. I would, but I have Laker tickets.
[Cut to a shot of the rest area]
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Narrator : On the next Arrested Development, Barry receives a sign from God.
Barry Zuckerkorn : [Seeing a replica of the Ten Commandments on top of his car] I will obey your will, I will lead a good life.
[Sees a parking ticket on his car]
Barry Zuckerkorn : Well, to hell with this then.
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Lucille Bluth : You'd think a man locked up in prison would able to abstain. Your father with his disgusting tweaking. I couldn't breast feed any of you kids because of that man.
[Everyone cringes]
Barry Zuckerkorn : They still look fabulous.