Portrait Husband and a father devasted by OCD

He got D thought

he'll kill it and of and her family learning to cope with his crippling mental illness

If the nor know

Not for who else

Living in hell I would helmet

Hugh Turner- Suffered more than 40 years

Hugh trapped in a world of endless border symmetry and repetition his compulsive rituals
means he hasn't been able to work for the past 16 years and use rituals cannot be completed
until he's counted 12 lots of 12 on his fingers it's a set of numbers he's driven to repeat again
and again

12 was always with him his favorite number stories rather like he meet

He stand up for one lots of 12 then it has another to lots of 12 then 3 dollars rolls to eventually
he come to twelve rasa's twelves and countin.

But if he doesn't do it on Ellen he does it by reminder.

Everything in Hugh's entire house has its own place and must be precisely measured exactly
positioned

He do measure with fingers you realize it is like that the air on certain angles from the first line of
the dog's paw there I'm very happy that when it's that line they're perfect it's okay from the living
room is my cottages your open control boxes everything else is gonna be perfect it could take
up to 10 to 15 minutes just to put back a bit in the fridge but it's actually got to be at the sides
this is the way by Rachel's air these ornaments are any item in the house he's not in a perfect
position beyond anxiety is really bad

Unfortunately for Hugh his anxiety is really bad quite often and keeping everything in the house
perfect isn't easy living with the other five members of his family. They're his son's michael and
mark, Wife Maureen, and Daughter Joanne who's learning difficulties mean Hugh and Maureen
have even more childcare responsibilities with grandson Julian

Good God lobby all these bits away

Hugh's rituals can last for up to 18 hours a day it's exhausting but he's driven by an all-
consuming fear.

Hugh: If I don't do these rituals I find great handful of Ultima children either my grandchild will be
kidnapped your wife's on a bike the tankard or a wedding common side of hirable Salida not
suffered by Michael my goat and we might stabbed

Merc I fear he may go in the ring I meet mommy in battle who's gonna be the we'll keep on
shooting me the temple and his head up like that

He got two identities

I'm you turd her yet again there's another person inside of me and me but the other side
amazed me OCD

I am two people
I'm trapped in your world

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

- Is a mental disorder that consists of recurrent intrusive thoughts or images or urges.
Which are extremely anxiety provoking and distressing and that leads the individual to
either avoid the situation or activities that provoke them or to do various compulsions
things you have to do over and over again until you feel comfortable it feels right

- Hue's type OCD is of recurrent intrusive thoughts and especially images of tragic events
happening to his family which he feels he has to protect he was a wide range of rituals
order symmetry and tightness which he feels that he has to do over and over again till he
feels comfortable lot of these rituals that he's been doing have functioned by avoiding I
think a lot of the thoughts and images that he has in whilst he does them it stops him
thinking about these images that he finds so terrifying.

If I do rituals and doing the counting sugar and enumerated mieta things like that I think father
the family says.

- He feels that he's protecting his family. It's safe and comfortable but of course is
completely destroying his family.

After many years handling hue's obsessive behavior. Maureen has learned to shrug off his
constant desire for order to gather you know what he's waiting for to get in my spec hope he's
staying to clean the pan he's trying to take all that and all and

Maureen- Do me why don't you just chill out and concept sit down counselor already a Picasso
don't come up
 - Hugh really can't stand still for a moment for him the simple act of Maureen preparing a
meal in the kitchen is an anxiety provoking act of desecration.

Maureen: You mean no need to leave it well not go out, finally please forget a bit peace now you
be so it could mean EMP. You get word up this place not on down.

Hugh: it's okay

Maureen: It's rocky everything's gotta be perfect with Hugh

Hugh: It's okay there's profit here

Maureen: Why it's not perfect isn't which it isn't

Hugh: Everything's okay there

Maureen: it's just us to get on white one

Hugh: one okay Kevin is all right over there everything's all right to you everything spot on this.
This room right now at the very minute like you me know his spot on house.

Daughter: House is more likely a show up yeah you tell them what your granddad's like you
know him.

Hugh: and there is one ritual I'm not really talked about yeah I wouldn't worry us with youth to
Ollie and I've done it behind your backs but it is I swiped my chest 12 times over.

Daughter: When yummmie(granddaughter) comes in if the first thing you'll go is that path look
all fancy see it when they come back.

Hugh: I've actually made myself absolutely sore and blue blood here. I swiped myself 12 times
they like this (pulling and pulling). Well you can imagine doing that a few number times a day
right now like that. I got 12 times it is bad. I'm not getting sexual kicks out of it. Cuz he's painful
really when you point on. Not actually a group and I can fork and play for this to me in a big
ordeal you may lick.

Psychiatrist/Psychologists: On scale between one to ten I think Hugh's problems are probably
NATO or nine he's clearly severely handicapped. He's unable to work, he doesn't have a social
life his relationship with his family is appalling.

Hugh: Now roll on say

Psychiatrist/Psychologists: You can't change his clothes.

Hugh: I've stalled that much we rituals through the day. I'll actually what available Azam.

Psychiatrist/Psychologists: He's lost all dignity and ability to care for himself.

Hugh: a lot of lb Hashanah

Psychiatrist/Psychologists: He's definitely very severe. OCD frequently devastates the family as
well different members of the family may try to cope in different ways. I think Maureen has been
trying to shut it off until tonight and get away and escape from as much as she can. But that
makes her more distant and separated from you.

Hugh: Okay

Maureen: I come here just to chill out you just relax and talk to people. I just have that space
away from you(Hugh) a few hours. Because you have to otherwise you'd be sitting there and
you'll end up counting twelve.

Hugh: Foot off perfect

Maureen: On your world and it's not my favorite an almond butter cups of psychosis. I seem to
do 12 times around the gym. They're putting the back

Maureen: When I meet my husband I just fast he was tired he part bit posh to be honest and I
used to go in the bedroom and have nothing was out of place.

Hugh: Well, years ago I always thought a why I started doing these strange things was is that
being tidy.

Maureen: Well fast he was tired he thought

Well I don't have to clean up after him that's one thing but I mean it's tidy and tidy

Hugh: I really wish that I could have gone to be dodging and said dad why do these say things
and me mum dad two nurses pull yourself together you know me till eventually icon standing or
end up in a psychiatric unit and even there and then I was just diagnosed exhausted and
depressed. I was never diagnosed with OCD, I was actually in hospital at into a room little bit
problem between the mouth electrons puts me head these lectures I would put aside some
earlier they done recently atrocity. I still picture this day was only allowed but still picture it so
painful think about it had to in front of the eye(Paulo doctors) and I won't be better had to go in
my own world again didn't even tell my parents ever again for a long time I can't tell him
because they thought I've been cured so for using using years. I lived in silence that's why they
call it salad mental illness.
 - Hugh Turner has suffered from OCD for over 40 years everything in his house must be
arranged precisely in it's own special place. He believes his compulsive rituals of order
symmetry and counting will keep his family safe from harm.
- For total peace of mind Hugh must be in control of absolutely everything even everyday
noises make him anxious.
- Frozen food packs can be particularly troublesome crackling.

Hugh is making my own safety rise what I do

He's done with the ritual noise to stop him hearing noises crack with like that so that's perfect.

- Controlling everything at home is for Hue away of controlling the world and keeping his
family safe
- Hugh's OCD has prevented him from leaving the house even for a short time. But now
for the first time in over 12 years. Maureen's persuaded him to take her to Blackpool for
the weekend but disturbing his bag will be a massive problem.

Maureen: Oh god spot phu just for long break and it'd be a test for you B&B test for me too.

Hugh: I've got to get to Blackpool and that is when one big ordeal for me and I just only hope I
can make it. It's make a break time now unforseen oh I'm just going to put myself into a bag I
might find a pair of a corpse in it result through her. I've got visions of shots heads chopped
downs everything. I'm not gonna move that break. The air I'm getting really weird sweats coming
up real bad waves. There's something out there can help me. I'm throwing a challenge out to
anybody who can who can actually help me become this.

- Hugh may have mustered up the courage to move the bag but it'll take some time to
pack the clothes the placed so carefully

Maureen- it will be stressful for him because it is never something that his wardrobe socks and
then. Paddle with Yuri for a week and see what he done years ago when I was karting and
there's a live with him for for a week.

Hugh- On the thumb up we're not worn again you.

Maureen: You have to stick it out or you walk out don't you. But I've always chosen so.

- It's been struggle but Hugh's finally ready to travel. Before he leaves the house he must
make a final check to make sure that everything is safe.

Maureen: Well, it was your when you ran.

Hugh- I'm statia all right we're going already had obviously said it knows what's there's.

- Something that maureen's all too aware of

Maureen: If I left you be for two minutes used to say I'm going back up to check someone. I
forgotten summer you can guarantee was always half an hour late unleash. The knocking like
hell they even finished with them she cut it got over those like what

- This is the longest time the queues stayed away from home in years. It's early days but
at least he's managed to get here. Hugh's intrusive thoughts always make him overly
aware of impending danger. For him a simple trip of the blackpool tower is a suicidal
mission into unknown territory.

Maureen: Take a deep breath

Hugh: We'll just label it no I thank to god for that. Oh is that a speedo, so much pain that is it

Maureen: If you were a fat man

To start lockdown

Operator: Whether they've stopped you will be in 380 feet

- It's a challenge for Hugh just to stand in the lift but now he's faced with a new problem a
glass floor 380 feet above the ground.

H: Don't walk it a lot of you

Stranger: Mind won't be able to see I don't you feel much less he went down there were there
no give you don't you bill you'll be doing you're gonna own it. So we then look down there like
that school of cross borders. If I fell down there way.

- For anyone of us walking over this glass floor might be tricky but with hugh's irrational
fears working overtime for him it would be an outstanding achievement.
- Hue may have mustered the towers heady walk of faith but back in his hotel room.
Packing his bag is proving to be a much bigger challenge.

H: There was a famous bag no I may go into it or I may not that's going to be a challenge if prop
drops and I get soaking wet through words in the Rhenish brother I will have to go into that bag
to get real t-shirt. Sandra Jackie bottoms out well that is going to be challenge on it's own that
bag will still put a could stay packed up with a good few days after I get all. I've got to do my
rituals because I fear Paramore come to me grandchild. I feel that I can prevent this from
happening by making sure me back safe in the quarter. Because she tells us straight the D
audience in there the cops are there the tea bags trolls watch from there, the kettle's are straigh,
Patel has been judiciously because it was on an angle before morning shoes under the chair
there are absolutely in order. There as well, I've got to make sure this environment this room is
absolutely safe here.

- You may feel safe in his hotel room but the whole point of being here is to relax, enjoy
being on holiday like everyone else. However hugh always seems to find something to
make him feel anxious.

H: Seasonally my camera I know it's worth it. I'm frightening hiss all of sudden the lens that
camera just opens up. I fear the sun is come on come out of me there and grab me by the throat
or something other like you mean it. I've got a visions of that lens cap open up your eminence
from the ground of it grab and throttle derivative throttle. Bahamas apple then go through
maureen referred her a dragon or is it see it meaning it and all she's doing is laughing

Hey don't say that war for Pete's sake good

- Life may be a beat for some but for Hugh a beach is potentially a very dangerous place.
- OCD is certainly regarded by many people as a secret illness. It's something that people
are very ashamed about they keep it to themselves if they're washing their hands in the
bathroom behind locked doors if they're doing their rituals of order and so on it's very
much a private thing that kepts away from society and feeling very ashamed about it and
this is risk ad because of course it's about bringing it out into the open in order to get the
support and help you need and for many people they may suffer from 10-15 years before
they finally do get the help that they actually need.

- The holiday is over and back at home again. Hughes anxiety levels are already
beginning to rise. If things inside the house have been disturbed it could take him days
to get everything feeling safe again

I'm fighting the old city buddy you know

Maureen it more he's devastated with hoover and she's knocking dogs on the floor
she's not going to kids toys she's bumping into the settee and chairs and she probably not the
dog oh probably smash it. I just don't know where to start.

What you doing don't this one close about don't worry about it there's a real close and put on
later on. I don't throw it. But all through yours room door

Wait you do from my own eyes yes you should do oh

He won't argue with his wife he just got on his nerves

- Key thing is usually in therapy to get the family on board as well as so they understand
what needs to be done and help them become my co therapist and very supportive in
helping you to make progress
 - Hugh simply can't cope by himself even if it's only the end of a phone line he needs the
support of a counselor to get him through his crisis.

- Hugh has hit rock bottom he needs help badly but after 40 years of OCD is there any
hope at all of a cure it.

- See incredible that here's a man who's had nearly 40 years of OCD and that you know
very simple procedures can actually perhaps you know probably make a very good
chance of recovery and one of the difficulties now it is getting access to good services in
psychological treatments.

- Hugh Turner has battled against his OCD. He wants to be free on his rituals and has
finally been referred to one of the country's leading OCD experts the rituals are
exhausting and take up all this time but Hugh finds comfort in them too.

- He may be a great relief while he's in control but it's torture when he isn't.

- On scale between one to ten I think hugh's problems are probably about eight or nine is
clearly severely handicapped. When the difficulties of OCD is getting access to good
services in psychological treatments.

- In the hope of a cure Hughes travel to London to meet consultant psychiatrist Dr. Davil
Beal/Veal.

- But back at home in Liverpool Hugh's eldest son mark has come to a realization.

Mark: Also be honest when he went London I've realized when he's not there. I do his rituals
sort of thing and I've only just realized that from money left. We had this weekend. (Oh darling)
it's 3:00 today he's
He just got frustrated and stuff like and always coming from type of thing from like just done it
when he were an airline. I love Thai molasses but you counted 12 but I can't freeze.

- The priory hospital north London Dr. Bill has asked the for support
maureen should also be there with Hugh

Dr Bill: It's very clear to me your diagnosis you're clearly suffering from OCD that you also have
some depressive symptoms and also problems with alcohol. But if you didn't have OCD you
wouldn't have the depression and the alcohol.

: The problem now is of recurrent intrusive thoughts and images that's right of harm severe
harm and death a family coming to your family things so the problem I'm saying is the way you
view these thoughts and images. Because you treat them as somehow real events that are
going to happen and therefore you become responsible for preventing them from happening.
Let's try and dance with death shall we let's try and make bad things happen
Most common intrusive thoughts and images that keep popping into your head: Which ones
work for british title whoo and I totally worry that sort of readjusted went up today because
every telling it's the ring(boxing ring) I feel that's gonna get a nasty fall she dead, shorty sells
down

Picture is going to third row this guy's coming back with a flying kick he's actually gone down I'm
freezing because all right he's dead
Keep going
Acceptance
Just accept it they're just excited to be there accept it

Psychiatrist to Hugh: can you write it out

Mark is Dead

Remember this is for you to try and be a good family man. This is what would why we're doing it
to beat your OCD yes it is our nice picture in your mind

Hugh picture in his mind now I can picture it so mark is Dead.

Well done you're not doing anything in your head to undo it at all no

That must be very exciting provoking for you

Is that the first time you have ever really faced up to any of those things

Hugh: yeah

In 40 years

How are you feeling right now

Hugh: My anxiety is dropping

It's quite a relief

So what I'm hoping

Good thoughts and images that is your

Mental chatter but they're just your worries but they're very normal you should have them right
because you're a very strong family man.
In other words you can do this without having to do your rituals the message here today is look
this is very definitely treatable you can definitely make progress and you know really get your
life back

- Hugh may be starting to get his life back but 40 years of OCD can't be undone in one
afternoon. He's made progress with Dr. Bill's therapy but back on his own turf he's
struggling to cope. Tonight mark's girlfriend is cooking the family meal Michelle has in
Hugh's space now and that's making his anxiety climb.

- Hugh unable to eat a meal with the rest of his family his compulsion to complete his
rituals is too strong to allow him to sit down and enjoy himself even for a moment.

- Most nights he feels the need to drink before bed but maureen's not sure that whiskey is
the right medicine for hugh's illness.

- Michael is also unconvinced about his dad's drinking

- There's a secret side to Hugh's life too he saves his most compulsive behavior for night
time when his family are in their beds sleeping.

- Alone at night Hugh's obsessions take on a horrifying intensity. Tomorrow his son has a
kickboxing challenge fight to protect mark in the ring. Hugh must make sure everything in
his world is absolutely safe.

- Hugh Turner's OCD is driving him harder than ever today is a big day for the Turner
household son mark has a kickboxing challenge fight coming up in just a few hours. To
protect his son in his upcoming fight Hughes rituals have achieved a new intensity.

- Mark is overweight by two kilograms it's only two hours before the fight and he must lose
the extra weight this level of physical effort so close to the match is draining mark
strength- causing Hugh to worry even more about mark safety and the ring.

- Fine tuning the position of the dog's water bowl may seem futile at a moment like this but
for hugh it really is a matter of life or death.

Dr. Bill : Definitely I would hope that he would go to this event and to use the skills that he's
been learning to apply to it at the time to support mark be a good family man.

- The first part of the evening is underway and hugh's anxiety is causing him to feel
physically ill sickly (vomiting)

- The real test for Hugh is about to begin will he be able to put his new therapy into
practice?
 - It's here the moment that Hugh has been threaded.

- Hugh mustn't fight his own vivid thoughts and morbid imaginings. Hugh must see them
through. And as for marks he's full of life and on top of this fight. It's a win for mark and a
proud father has been asked to present the fighters their trophies.

- The excitement is over mark's won his fight and hugh's overcome his fears to be there
and support his son. Later that night, Hugh is straight back to his old ways perhaps he's
confused was marks victory the result of all the rituals he performed or would have been
safe anyway. There is one thing though that hugh can say for sure about his rituals it's
just like having a sex.

- Hugh's recovery will be a hard fight too but now with a referral to a 12 week course of
intensive therapy with psychiatrist Dr. Bill. Hugh feels it's time to say goodbye to his
OCD.

Perfect