Moms need their me-time. We need to show up for ourselves first: Masoom Minawala

When fashion influencer Masoom Minawala Mehta posts a video showing her strolling down the street in a breezy co-ord set and chic pumps, many of her 1.4 million followers rush to buy the same ensemble. That’s why brands term her ability to influence business as ‘The Masoom Magic’. The 31-year-old, who was among the first content creators of India’s burgeoning influencer industry, has walked the Cannes red carpet and won a spot in GQ’s Most Influential Young Indians list.Mehta spoke to Neha Bhayana about her 16-month-old son Zavi, and why she felt inspired to write a memoir

How has it not changed me is the question (laughs). There’s actually no way it hasn’t changed me. I think my priorities have become clearer. I prioritise self-care and my me-time a lot more now because I know that if I can’t show up for myself first, I won’t be able to show up for anyone else in my life.

It has been an unconventional journey and an unconventional career choice. Since the day I started, there have been so many questions, so much curiosity and so much doubt about what I’m doing that I felt like it would be incredible to write about it. I wish I had had a book, a documentation of a journey that was similar to mine out there, that I could have referred to, read and learned from. The book is not a story of victory. It is simply a documentation of choosing an unconventional career and what that entails, and the fact that it’s not necessarily rainbows. It doesn’t always have a happy ending and that’s such an important realisation for all of us.
You’ve spoken about experiencing mom-guilt in your book. As a working mom, is it hard to not be there for your child sometimes?
It is so hard. It is hard to make that choice. I hope someday this mom-guilt is resolved. But I also feel it’s just a new emotion that comes into our life that we really need to learn how to deal with. It’s almost like learning how to deal with your anger or learning how to deal with sadness. It’s a part of your life; it’s going to come.

I think there’s a huge shift in today’s dads as well. I do see a fair amount of guilt and FOMO (fear of missing out) among them. Of course, the shift is not as macro as we want it to be, but it’s there.

I don’t have a schedule in place because there is so much travel involved in my job and no day is the same as the other. What I do is that when I’m spending time with Zavi, I try to make sure it’s special and give him undivided attention. And, then throughout the day, there are so many times when I’m working on my desk — I work from home — and he’ll be in the same room and doing his own thing. It’s great to share space and it’s great to share time like that. But I think what’s really important is to make sure that the time I am spending with him, even if it is just 30 minutes, is undivided, dedicated and not distracted.

No, he’s a very independent baby. He is also far busier than I am wherever I take him because he’s so entranced by everything that’s happening around him. I’m the one who has to yearn for his attention, and not the other way around. I’ve been lucky on that front.

Earlier, I never cared about the timing of my flight but I now make sure to pick a time which coincides with his sleep time. That way a majority of flying time is taken care of, and this makes the whole process much easier. I also love busy books. They are a fantastic toy to travel with as they keep babies occupied for some time.
Zavi started nursery this January so he does not always travel with me these days. My husband (Shailin Mehta) travels a lot too, but we ensure that one of us is always with Zavi.

I am quite a rigid planner, and I use a lot of Notes. I love the idea of a routine and I think kids love it too. Whenever he’s in routine, he’s thriving. So, I try to stick to the schedule no matter where we are.

Yes and no. I think I’m someone who goes with the flow. I do macro plan and macro delegate, but I do not micromanage. I let the smaller things go because there’s no way to be everywhere and do everything. The same applies for his menu. I chalk out what the total meal looks like. But if there are three or four meals a week that are not are not really achieving what I’m setting out to do, it is not something I would fuss over. That’s not the way we grew up. I actually take a lot of inspiration from my own upbringing, especially when I’m unsure about how to manage the situation. In this age where everything is over-healthified or over-analysed when it comes to nutrition or sleep patterns, sometimes it helps to think about how we were raised. And I think I turned out okay. So, it’s great to actually go back and see how my mom or dad did it, and take inspiration from there. They didn’t over plan so much. They didn’t overthink it so much. They just went with the flow, and it all turned out fine.

Not at all. He loves French fries. I would hate it if someone deprived me of French fries. So, who am I to do it to him? I don’t think any food that is fresh and well-cooked is unhealthy. The only thing I keep him away from is packaged food. Every food item has its own role to play. Fats are good for kids. We consider French fries unhealthy but potatoes have a good amount of carbs and fibre. Of course, the oil is not that healthy, but it’s give and take.

We follow a very strict schedule when it comes to sleep. We haven’t introduced sugar or screens yet. I’ve not introduced the screen because I have support to keep my child away from it. But screentime could actually be a blessing for so many busy moms. Parenting is so personal and it cannot be a one-size-fits-all approach. I think you just have to go with the flow.

I think it’s archaic thinking. Things need to change, and it’s got to begin with the leaders. I think what leaders across genders need to understand is that when a woman is a mother, there are so many skills that she acquires through motherhood that will only enhance her role at the workplace. But they need to give that flexibility. I truly feel a mother can achieve so much more in an hour than a non-mother because we’re just so much more accustomed to multitasking, to managing 100 things, to dividing our mind into 100 different compartments and still being able to deal with all of them. We need to look at motherhood as a strength rather than as a weakness. If we can create this mental shift across ecosystems, it will make a huge difference.

Fortunately, no. I’ve been very privileged, and no one criticised me for making that choice. Also, I feel there are two areas that the questioning comes from. One is from people’s concern for your health. Second is people’s concern for your availability for your child. I think the first one comes out of kindness. But I think we know our bodies better than anyone else, and we have to take that call for ourselves. When it comes to our availability for our child, I think anyone who questions that just needs to be reminded that the parent knows best. All advice is welcome, but the parent knows best.


It was difficult for sure. But even though I got back to work, I’ve always given myself some sort of breathing space and flexibility. I’ve also been privileged to have a lot of help around me.

I’m a big believer in movement. I make sure I am on the go and I’m getting my movement in, every single day, whatever that movement could be. I’m not someone who goes to the gym very regularly. But I really love my walks. I love swimming.

I think they gave me a lot of freedom. They built a very non-pressured environment that involved a lot of space to make my own choices. There was no compulsion to really do anything. There was a lot of freedom of thought. I quite like that, and would like to do the same.

I love reading to him. We enjoy the 'Bizzy Bear' series, ‘Goodnight Moon’ and ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’.

I think it’s so important to normalise all stages and phases of motherhood. It’s important to normalise the fact that sometimes your kids are with you at work. I am someone who’s privileged enough to be her own boss and I can take my child to work. But what if you’re employed? Can a post of mine actually open someone’s mind about allowing their employee’s kids to be with them at work, and allow them that flexibility and that exposure? What happens is that it also makes it much easier for your child to accept that you’re working when they actually see you do it. I think it’s important that breastfeeding is more normalised, and that it comes with a tad bit more freedom and openness. I do think these are subtle ways of trying to make that change.