“My husband is trying to make amends after cheating on me”

Query: My husband has been cheating on me and I have been aware of it for quite some time now. He has come out in the open about it and after a lot of discussions, he now wants to make amends. I am unable to understand if I should forgive him or end the relationship. Please help.
Response by Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh: This is a very common scenario nowadays.Put down your boundaries very clearly about what is acceptable and what is not. Cheating can also be of various degrees: emotional, physical and even digital cheating as well. But cheating is when your partner is not letting you know about somebody else on the side. Your partner is not being transparent, and that actually culminates to cheating. It is very hurtful to find out about your partner’s infidelity. The trust gets completely broken.
If your partner is remorseful and asking for a second chance, there is no harm if you have a strong relationship. Sometimes these hiccups do happen. We all are human beings; we should learn at some place to understand why he cheated. Maybe there has been a vacuum in the relationship. And maybe we should start working on that vacuum.
But again, it's not that simple to trust your partner again. So give it some time, and take some baby steps. Analyse whether your partner is trying to amend because he is actually guilty or just because he is trying to cover it up since you found out about the affair. It also could be that he really loves you and is very remorseful about it. Sometimes when we overcome these hiccups, it can make us very strong.
I highly stress the fact that you should deeply analyse whether your partner is giving efforts to amend his mistake or not. If he is putting extra effort into coming back into the relationship again, then it’s all affection and love. You can also take the help of a counsellor who can help you both to understand what was lacking in the relationship—What happened? Why did the cheating really occur? Etc. If you feel you have been completely violated and you just don't feel like giving it a chance, then it is worth talking to a counsellor.
Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh is HOD - Holistic Medicine, Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon, Relationship, Lifestyle & Stress Management Expert