Like a true blockbuster, Euro 2024 has everything – action, emotion, comedy, drama, gastronomy, and goals

This Euro is suitable for all ages, groups, and tastes!

Let’s start with World Peace. For long, its proponents have looked down upon the plebeian influences of football. There is an honest intent to change that. This Euro continues with the previous one’s emotion of loving thy enemy.

Germany's Antonio Rudiger played a good host by scoring one for the opponents.

Albania’s Klaus Gjasula scored one for the opponents before his own team.

Some Dutch fans chose to fight each other rather the opposition.

Divided by Mediterranean Sea and football, Spain and Italy were united by Riccardo Calafiori. The Spanish conundrum of chances not converting into goals could have remained so if not for this Roman, who came, who saw, who...

In the little town of Altavilla Vicentina in northern Italy, Roberto Baggio tried to put up a better fight against five armed robbers than the one his countrymates were doing at that time on the screen. Perhaps they were a motley bunch of Milan, Inter, and Juve fans getting back at him for betraying their respective colours.

Otherwise, this was a day of harmony. A current king and a future king met, shook hands and departed on an amicable note, owing to the Denmark-England draw. The fans, primarily the latter’s, got on board too. Apart from one detained for riding an e-scooter under the influence, another trying to enter the stadium as a referee, and just a handful more, it was a surprisingly peaceful night.

Only a global pizza chain mocked the English coach, Gareth Southgate. ‘If Southgate ran a Domino’s’ read the caption for an out-of-control kitchen. So much for revenge! Southgate appeared for Pizza Hut in the days of yore.

Does that mean the action-lovers would have to contend with their share earlier in the tournament? Noses might have been broken, blood spilled, arrests made, spaghetti and baguettes desecrated, but it can still do with some more. Triggering a minor earthquake? Meh! Happens at Taylor Swift concerts all the time.
Historically too, if the matters haven’t been settled on the field, the ensuing brawls have often laid bare the coarseness of this game. For what this world would be if deprived of the noble’s scorn?

Football enjoyment follows an order: fights > goals > everything else.

Before Georgia and Turkey could serve one of the most impressive displays of this Euro, their fans chose to set the intensity at high – throwing punches and objects at each other in a full-blown fight. The emotions ran high somewhere in Western Poland too, as the gathered Turks and Georgians decided to take it beyond the final whistle. It was furniture, bottles, and more, when almost 150 English and Serbian fans met at a resto pub before their match.

The goals also have been fine too. Thanks to the $170 high-tech ball. Believe Harry Kane or not, “when you strike it, it stays hit”! “It’s quick.” Has a chip inside. A mind of its own? Rise of the Machines all over again? A Dark Fate on the cards? Or a ready blame for all the near hits.

Still, isn’t something missing?

Perhaps a 22-man pile up? Navarro-like rabbit punch? Or a Cantona flying kung-fu kick? Or a referee choosing the ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’ way?

Till then, well, comics it is.

A masked Edin Dzeko of 2019 might just have been a Bane-sque prelude to the current Dark Night Rises-themed riot police marching down the streets of Germany in a convoy.

Playing true to its U-13 certification, Kylian Mbappe, for a sheer lack of an established French superhero, is giving Captain America vibes in his striped starred mask.

Albania’s Jasir Asani takes home the best footwear award with his Super Mario-themed cleats.

For gastronomically inclined souls, food wars are quite a food for thought. Fondue better than goulash – claimed Swiss against Hungary. Eat Pasta, Run Fasta – Italians advised Albanians. Kielbasa better than gouda – boasted Polish fans against the Netherlands. But ‘Schnitzel better than baguette’? Austrians took it a bit too far.

And, then there were the Brits, reminding us non-participating yet fully-committed Indians of a proverbial uncle in our weddings. Be it the German trains, sausages, currywurst, or cheese, nothing matched their health-risk perfection called fish and chips. Well, doesn’t matter much to the English misplaced sense of superiority that it was a Jewish immigrant who started it all. Just like it might be a Turkish-origin man lifting the trophy for Germany.

For Indians, though, some Slovenians fans throwing a TV from the window in response to a late draw by Serbia is enough to bring back the memories of a cricket as emotionally charged as football. Delightfully, the TVs were across the border.

Still, those who just want pure football, Lionel Messi is in action at Copa America.